


Perfect and unattainable

by Melime



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Community: femslashficlets, Crushes, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 08:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10827165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime
Summary: So, this was it. The Good Place. Heaven. Paradise. The best possible outcome. The most desirable place to be.





	Perfect and unattainable

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Português brasileiro available: [Perfeita e inalcançável](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10827171) by [Melime GreenLeaf (Melime)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime%20GreenLeaf)



> Written for the [femslashficlets](http://femslashficlets.dreamwidth.org/) community, challenge #037 - paradise.

So, this was it. The Good Place. Heaven. Paradise. The best possible outcome. The most desirable place to be. The place to where only the absolutely best people got to go.

And she didn’t belong there, but that seemed like an inconsequential detail when it came to whether or not she should be enjoying herself. After all, if the Good Place was so good, then it had to be good for everyone who was there, so, if she didn’t make an effort to enjoy herself, then she was being unnecessarily disruptive. Therefore, what a good person would do would be to seize every opportunity to be happy as to not disturb the purpose of the Good Place.

Yeah, right. Not even Eleanor bought into that bullshirt. Bullshirt. Bull-shirt. Fine, whatever. The whole cussing censorship thing was the hardest to get used to.

Still, the point was, this was supposed to be paradise, and it didn’t seem fair that it wasn’t her own little corner of heaven, even if she wasn’t even supposed to be there. She wasn’t envious, not exactly, she just wanted to belong there, and wanted that place to belong to her. Would that be too much to ask for?

Although, if she were really honest with herself, which was something she avoided doing at all possible opportunities, she didn’t want to be exactly like those people. Just more like them. She wanted to be good and deserving of being in heaven, but she didn’t want to be one of those happy people whose only purpose in life, afterlife even, was to do nice things that made them look good.

Like Tahani. Eleanor most definitely didn’t want to be like Tahani, who thought she was so perfect and amazing and beautiful and good. And, alright, some of these things were true, fine, maybe most of those things, but not all. And she didn’t want to be like Tahani with her perfect contagious smile, and her perfect long and silky hair that just made you want to pass your fingers through it, and her piercing, shiny eyes that hid mysteries in their depths, and her beautiful skin that seemed so soft, and her fashion sense that shouldn’t look as good on her as it did, and her constant aura of positivity that made everyone want to be happy around her to make her happy, and… Eleanor had a point with that, but she forgot it along the way.

It was just… Tahani just had to be so perfect, didn’t she? Always so perfect. She belonged there, as much as Eleanor didn’t want to admit it, and that was the most infuriating part of this. Eleanor wanted to prove Tahani’s presence there was just as much of a mistake as hers, because then…

Tahani was just so… perfect, alright, that was the first thing that always came to mind when thinking about her, and beautiful and kind and generous and that just… Couldn’t. Be. True. That was it. A person like her couldn’t exist, because there was no such thing as a perfect woman, as a perfect person even. Perfect people didn’t exist, therefore, Tahani couldn’t be as perfect as she seemed.

And maybe there was something else to it. Tahani seemed so perfect and unattainable, and maybe if she wasn’t as perfect as she seemed, she would also not really be unattainable. Not that Eleanor cared about that, because she didn’t, she hated Tahani and wanted to destroy her.

Except Tahani was a beautiful person in a way that had nothing to do with how hot she was. Despite the fact that she was, totally hot that is. Like, that was an undisputable fact, whatever else Eleanor could think about her, Tahani was just plain hot, that wasn’t even a matter of taste, it was just an universally accepted fact. Whatever, she could be hot and still not be as good a person as she acted like she was. Hot people can be evil too, and flawed and selfish and petty and oh great, now Eleanor was just building up her own self-esteem. Which was fine, a healthy ego never harmed anyone, but was just not the point she was trying to make. If she was that dispersive when talking to herself, she wondered how everyone else could even keep up.

Anyway, Tahani was attractive, sure, which didn’t mean Eleanor was attracted to her. Like, not necessarily at least. Except she was, maybe a tiny bit. Or a little more than a tiny bit, but who could blame her? After all, all they had to do was look at Tahani to see what she was up against.

Whatever, the point she was trying to make was that Tahani was in the way of that being a paradise for Eleanor too, being just so perfect like that. And if Eleanor could prove that she wasn’t such a good person, that Tahani was more like her, a medium person, then she… would have proven that, which would no doubt bring her some sort of satisfaction, even though she couldn’t tell what kind of satisfaction that would be. Hey, she never claimed to be in tune with her feelings, or that she was a well-adjusted person for that matter, so she couldn’t be judged for that.

At this point, she didn’t know if she wanted Tahani disgraced and cast out, to raise to Tahani’s level, or to have Tahani get down to her level. Those were difficult feelings to tell apart. All that she knew was that, right now? This wasn’t her paradise. And not just because she didn’t belong. And as much as Eleanor hated to admit that, she had a feeling that Tahani would have a hand in making things better or worse for her. She just didn’t know how exactly, at least not yet. But she would definitively find out, and that wasn’t an excuse to hang out with Tahani more. Well, not only an excuse at any rate.


End file.
